9 Things They Never Told You About Paintball

Here are a few things you were never told about playing paintball:

 

1 – The Line Between Friend And Enemy Is Extremely Thin

If you are out with the guys and the plan is to launch an attack on some other less organized paintballers, expect your relationship status with everyone in the group to change. Paintball is not a good ‘date night’ activity for this purpose – unless you want her to see you as some kind of jerk hell-bent on the destruction of feelings, friendships and all other forms of buddy-dom. You stand a good chance of becoming a frenemy even if you are on the same side as the winners. It’s all to do with the testosterone-fuelled rush that comes from ‘killing’ others with pellets of paint.

 

2 – If Someone Said This Was Fun, They Must Be Nuts

Alright, there is a level of fun to playing paintball. It is a little like saying you find getting a root canal to be fun. Unless you are in charge, or part of a charge, you are going to discover that paintball is not really as much fun as the guy at the paintball supply store made it out to be. However, for those of you who are using paintball as an excuse to burn off some stress, frustration and possibly to avoid a date or meeting you’d rather not be seen at, paintballing is a ton of fun. Using it as part of your avoidance strategy can be very invigorating.

 

3 – The Adrenalin Rush Will Kill Your Headache

We’ve mentioned the word adrenalin already. The same goes for testosterone. When both of these items are used in tandem, they create a rather interesting chemical reaction. It’s got a scientific name, but you may recognize it better with the handle of ‘paintballing’ or ‘extreme sports’ or maybe even ‘doing crazy stuff.’ Regardless of the term, the exciting way in which your heart will begin to pump massive quantities of blood through your system is a cure for many ailments. Some choose to drink green tea for health benefits. Others paintball.

 

4 – You Can Create Powerful Weapons Just By Tinkering Around

The guy at the paintball supply store should have indicated that there are many ways to amp up your tools. The tools we are referring to are the ones you would use to conquer and destroy the other team you are competing against. If you do it right, you can also use those tools against each other in a free-for-all. But you won’t have the Big Gun unless you learn how to tinker around and modify things. Thanks to the internet, you can learn how to turn a typical paintball gun into a rocket launcher capable of taking out most small structures and multiple family dwellings.

 

5 – Your Brain Is Also Going To Get A Workout

If you were one of those nerdy kids who had an annual membership in the Chess Club at school, guess what? You will be fully equipped to take that knowledge of strategy and gameplay to a whole new level once you strap on your protective gear and someone hands you a fully-loaded paintball gun. That’s because you will have the edge over most of your opponents, teammates, local politicians and the guy at the paintball supply store. It’s not exactly the amount of smarts you have that will win the match. It’s how you use those smarts, and that will exercise your brain.

 

6 – The Team You Slaughter Today Will Not Be The Same One Next Time

You know that variety is the spice of life, right? Well, the same thing applies to rocket science and playing paintball. The last thing you want to do is get together each and every Thursday afternoon at 4:30 to take on the team of misfits from the accounting department. You know you are going to pummel them. They know you are going to pummel them. They have all the same moves, and it’s gotten a bit boring. This is why you need to seek out other challengers as they will not only bring new tricks to the table, they’ll help you to build your game as well.

 

7 – In Case You’ve Been Getting Pale This Is An Outdoor Activity, Too

Working all the time like an unnamed lab rat indoors is not good for you. Not only will it give your complexion problems later in life, you’ll become light sensitive and probably live underground as an adult. Playing paintball should shatter most of that simply because it is an outdoor activity. Sure, we know, there are a lot of paintball venues that are indoors, but that isn’t the same. At least outside you can get some sunshine, rain or at least smell the paint as the pellets explode against your armor. Besides, outside you get to hide behind real trees and rocks.

 

8 – We Don’t Want To Call It Exercise, But You’ll Get Some

Has the better half been hinting that you look a bit on the pudgy side? Well, you can impress her and shed some of that extra tonnage when you get into an intense game of capture the flag. Don’t mistake all that huffing and puffing for the call to have a cigarette break. What you are experiencing is the phenomena known by the word of exercise. We’ll call it a cardio workout to make it sound a bit more macho. Regardless, all you have to do is jump a few obstacles, chase after some opponents, duck and weave a little bit yourself and before you know it, the girl at home is going to forget all about the folds of fat she used to see you wear home each day.

 

9 – There’s Going To Be A Different Kind Of Competition

Yeah, that’s right. It’ll be a little more than you and the guy next to you trying to score points with the cute blonde over by the jukebox. In fact, the competition is a tad fiercer. Picture two rabid hunters fighting over the same elk in the woods. Only with paintball that aggression gets fed upon your opponents. Want to make your paintball experience even more interesting? Place a friendly little wager on who finishes on top, and you’ll learn some new tricks you hadn’t seen before. Trust us, and the main competitors won’t be on your side…ever.

 

10 – Did We Forget To Mention That There’s A Lot Of Fun Involved?

We tend to gloss over this part. Paintball is a lot of fun. Even so much so that we had a blast just poking fun at it. We would suggest playing paintball as a great team-building exercise in the corporate world. It’s also a great way to burn off some excess energy (and a few pounds) if you need to give your brain a break from dealing with the glow of your computer screen all day. It’s not for everyone, for sure. But if your goal is to help your department develop trust and additional skills within the organization, paintball is great for that. It’s a lot of fun.

 

Let’s face it, if the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word ‘paintball’ includes nerdy little kids and a lot of extra laundry, you are way off base. Paintball, for a lack of a better description, is the perfect adult group activity that gets you away from those nerdy kids. In some cases, it even pits you against them so you can execute a mass raid and destroy anything they managed to put together as their defense. If you’ve picked up on the fact that paintball involves winning, losing and a bit of crying, then you are on the same page as us.

 

This Sort Of Paint Does Not Require Drip Cloths

Yup, we are into paintball. You had to see that coming. It’s more than something we do with the gang to burn off steam. In our world, it’s right up there with jumping out of planes and climbing sheer rock cliffs with just a claw hammer and some flour for our fingers. We are adrenaline junkies, and if you see yourself in the same way, then you’ll really appreciate what playing paintball will do for you in your life. Think you know all there is to sales and being a successful worker drone in today’s economy?

Find some time for paintball, and you’ll become unstoppable. It’s much more than a game with pellets of paint, face masks, and protective gear. Paintball is a culture and a way of life. It’s also freakin’ awesome to nail that peon from the sales department who won’t listen to you at the office. Need to snap someone into shape? Try fitting paintball into the dry land training program, and you may just unleash a monster that feeds on this sort of thing.

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